Books and Emotional Muscles…

nitestand books

Here is a picture of the current books I am reading that are piled on my night stand and the floor. A few are actually still on the floor! You can see that most relate to my book club themes…

Do you have more or less?

It’s so fun to read amazing books, but I find I miss talking about them with others, so I started a book club that related to my interests in courage, confidence, connection, women’s studies, food, body acceptance and being healthy. I figured if I am already reading this stuff, you might as well join me in the fun! (Don’t forget about audio books for those of you with long commutes).

As a visionary creative type, moving from idea to action has been challenging at times and the bane of my existence at others! Working with my coaches and other groups really is key for me to implement my dreams. I am not a “lone implementer” by any stretch of the phrase. Not everyone is this way, but a lot of people are. How about you? Do you do well with deadlines, gentle pushes and others cheering you on in your endeavors?

(Take the POLL below!)

Honestly, as a social people person all this working at home can become a real drag and to liven things up, I’ll distract myself from typing up blogs or finishing projects. It’s hard to keep my nose to the grindstone unless I’m in school or something. I’d rather go play.

The thing is that to get our gifts out to others we have to put a little muscle into it, otherwise they just lay dormant in our lives going to waste. (TWEET THIS)  

We can’t just leave the books on the nightstand, we actually have to open them and read. So I do things that build up my emotional and production muscle— Just like my yoga practice builds my physical muscles.

Just as I am a “go to yoga class” kinda gal (v. do an hour at home all alone…), I like building up all sorts of muscles with other people. For example, two amazing women joined me in a mastermind to implement what we are reading and practicing in our lives. We all are at similar stages in our processes of spiritual, emotional and “mindful eating” growth. It has been a tremendous blessing to be a recipient of their wisdom, honesty and encouragement.

The value of a mastermind group lies in the commitment of the people involved, the guidance of the facilitator and the quality of the group members. (That’s why I screen my BraveGirl Coaching mastermind participants!). And really, not everyone is ready for the intimacy and bared soul work that comes with such a group.

There are other great options though. Like a private FB group.

Which you are invited to! Wanna give it a whirl?

If you are into the books we read in book club then this group is for you! You can read more about it here.

So, back to my original question:  Seriously, how many books are piled on your nightstand?! Post a picture on the blog! I want to see the proof!!! I’m looking forward to seeing your fotos on the blog!

To your insight and action!



Is Comparison a death wish?

Latidoll size comparison

*note: I wrote this post in 2012 for my personal blog, but think it is still relevant!

The other day, I needed the wisdom of teens to bring me back into balance. Their creativity and willingness to be authentic reminded me of who I used to be as a kid. Sure I had insecurities and self-doubt like any teen, but I also did what I pleased most of the time and didn’t care what most people thought of me.

I was watching Gala Darlings talk on self-love  and was reminded of how important it is to stay away from certain media sources, since society’s message to women about our bodies is not exactly…accepting.

That got me thinking about an area I have always struggled in relation to comparing myself with others (with me being the loser) and that is PROGRESS.  Usually, this is in relation to professional aspirations. When I was younger it was academic/intellectual. I wasn’t judging other people. I didn’t look at people that were behind me in any sort of linear way, only those that were ahead.

Common things like, after always having been ahead of many others,  I changed my tune and went my own way– yet, kept comparing myself to the “progress” of those who had continued on the predictable linear achievement path.

Nice of me, huh?

This went on for a long time until I became ill with something the doctors could never figure out. I finally had to accept that I was more than my brain (which at that point was foggy and slow due to toxicity) and I might never have my quick mind back if things kept going as they were. I was more than my progress–whatever that may have been.

It was kind of freeing in a way, after I got over the depression of it. I had to look beneath achievement into what really made up my core being—my essence, my self-worth. When I finally came to terms with this and my dreams of getting a Ph.D. seemed impossible, I suddenly got better (after emergency surgery).

I was determined to do something else than run on the track of gathering “tickets” to prove my worth to some unknown person.

Now years later, after a successful career in private practice, time off and adopting our wonderful daughter, I decided to go back into the solo-preneur world and start up my coaching business again.

So how does comparison come in? Well, it’s that media thing that got me again. It’s good to learn from others that are farther along than you, but to be constantly bombarded with messages about being successful, making more money, having more clients, getting over your fears and mastering the latest technology or next best thing…well; it warps your mind a little bit. It becomes hard for a former “performer” to rise to all the challenges thrown her way (and I hold the term “former” very loosely in my hands!).

I have a vision, I have training, I know what I need to do professionally.  The constant reminder that I could be better, learn more, make more more more of everything was getting into my psyche. I started to compare myself to other women, younger than me, that had achieved more in their coaching practices.

And the anxiety was building.

I started getting irritable, tense, upset, worried and feeling overwhelmed by all I had not done yet. Sound familiar to anyone? TWEET THIS

Then, I listen to these kids and remember what is important. It’s definitely NOT comparing myself to others. I have my own vision, my own path, and don’t need to follow anyone else’s. I want a slower pace. It’s okay to me if I never become a millionaire.

I’m okay.

Once I listened to that voice again, the anxiety miraculously lifted. The tension left. I am choosing life; choosing the things that bring me joy, fulfillment and happiness AND this does not involve unconsciously comparing myself to other’s choices.

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